OCTOBER
2012
BLESSING
~Celebrating 1 Year in Bandung~
Saat
mendengar kata “berkat” biasanya yang langsung terpikir adalah mendapatkan
sesuatu yang waaaw. Sesuatu yang mendatangkan kegembiraan (uhuy!), yang menambah
kepemilikan (dari gak punya jadi punya), yang membuat keinginan hati terwujud
(dreams come true banget dah), atau yang membuat suatu kebutuhan terpenuhi (pas
perlu, pas ada). Atau mendapatkan sesuatu yang baru (bisa mobil baru atau baru
punya mobil – baik itu baru ataupun bekas). Bisa berupa kejutan – tak disangka,
tak dinyana, seperti kena durian runtuh (hmm...itu lbh mirip musibah deh klo
smp keruntuhan durian), tapi bisa juga sesuatu yg sudah diduga (krn sudah
diharapkan, diminta, didoaken sejak dulu kala). Bisa juga berupa kelepasan dari
sesuatu (lepas dari boss yg opresif misalnya??) yang dianggap
sulit/berat/membawa penderitaan.
Sejak
kecil kita sudah diajari untuk berdoa meminta berkat. Mulai dari ‘berkatilah
makanan ini’ smp ‘berkatilah papa mama’ dan mulai beralih ke ‘berikanlah sepeda
BMX baru ya Tuhan’ (jadoel bgt msh era BMX – sekarang kayaknya ‘berikanlah
iPhone 5S itu ya Tuhan’) hingga ‘berkatilah saat menjawab soal ujian ini’
(either uda belajar / gak belajar). Bahkan yg belum mengenal Tuhan pun sibuk
meminta berkat ke pohon2 besar, gua2, batu2, atau makam2 tertentu. Jika pada
akhirnya kita mendapatkan berkat tsb, lazimnya kita akan berkata “Terimakasih,
Tuhan” – karena kita percaya bhw Tuhanlah sumber berkat. Tapi banyak juga orang
yg berkata, “Ah itu kebetulan” atau “Ah itu hoki doang”. Sisanya mungkin malah
lupa untuk berterimakasih dan berlalu begitu saja.
Maka
saat merenungkan anniversary satu tahun di Bandung, aku tidak bisa tidak
berterimakasih pada Tuhan for His blessings. Aku bersyukur atas keluarga yg
sudah Tuhan peliharakan sampai sejauh ini. My folks, bro, & aunt. Our home
yg sudah selesai diperbaiki & our ol’ reliable car. My bro’s health &
great progress in 1 and a half years. My job at SBCH, bro’s job, & mom’s
job. My health (oh, precious, precious things). My pals, friends, Serukamers
& Xserukamers family – who support me through this 1 tough year in
hometown. God’s grace is flowing for me through them. Dan masih sangat banyak
hal yg perlu kusyukuri. A chance to see blue sky everyday, to go to church, to
enjoy my food, to sleep soundly at night, to write & read book. Termasuk
kesempatan to practice medicine & meet patients. More and more I realize
that it’s a mere priviledge to be a physician. Truly only by His grace & it
can be taken from us anytime.
But then
I came across this song, one fine day after a dear friend’s visit from a far. About
a year ago, she mentioned a few lines (from the reffrein), but only now that I
realize that it’s a song.
Here’s
what it says :
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
Hhhh...in
an instant, I’m reminded by my tons of failure & hard times. Hari2 pertama
bekerja di RS yang berbeda 180 derajat dengan Serukam - saking penuh pergumulan
sampai2 aku harus menuliskan berkat2 Tuhan yg perlu ku syukuri in my note. My
failure during admission test. My ‘broken’ heart (haha...not that broken si
sbnrnya ^^). My dark & desperate days. My disappointments. My problem with
family/friend. My sins. My pains. My doubts. My lowest point in life. My
struggling with the uncertain future. And many, many more....
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
Many
times my faith was tested. During hard times I doubted His goodness, I questioned His judgment, I wondered about His love. Pengenalanku yang masih dangkal akan pribadi
Allah mempengaruhi imanku kepada janji2Nya. Jika aku mengenal Allahku dengan
baik, maka aku akan yakin betul bahwa Ia akan memegang dan menggenapi
janji2Nya. Dan bagaimana bisa mengenal Allah jika tidak membaca &
mempelajari Firman-Nya? Rasanya pergi ke gereja setiap minggu saja tidak cukup.
Harus belajar langsung dari Firman Allah setiap hari. Waktu belajar tentang
janji Tuhan kepada Abraham, kemudian mengikuti perjalanan iman para patriarchs –
Ishak, Yakub, hingga Yusuf – berlanjut dengan kisah Musa dan Yosua, aku melihat
pribadi Tuhan yang setia. Tuhan berjanji pada Abraham dan dalam rentang waktu
yang sangat panjang hingga zaman Yosua, Ia setia pada janji2-Nya dan menggenapi
satu demi satu pada waktu-Nya. Saat Tuhan terasa jauh, yang perlu dilakukan
adalah tetap beriman kepada-Nya.
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
Setiap
orang menanggung salib mereka masing-masing. I don’t think we should watch our
neighbors and envy them, karena sebahagia2nya mereka dari luar, tiap orang pasti
menanggung salib mereka masing2. Aku mengingat kisah Ayub – kehilangan harta
benda, anak2, kesehatan dalam 1 kali pukulan; Horatio Gates Spafford yang
kehilangan 4 anaknya dalam 1 kecelakaan kapal laut; teman ayahku yg kehilangan
istri & anaknya dlm kecelakaan mobil krn tertabrak KA; pasangan muda di
Borneo yg kehilangan bayi mrk yg prematur; ibu muda yg hrs menghidupi ketiga
anaknya stl suaminya main gila dengan perempuan lain dan meninggalkannya; Joni
Eareckson Tada yang tetraplegia setelah spinal cord injury; and u can name the
rest.... Tapi Tuhan tidak membiarkan kita menanggung pencobaan melebihi
kemampuan kita menanggungnya. Dan siapa yang suruh kita tanggung sendiri? He
offers to bear it with us, walk with us, & holding our hands through it all.
Ada sisi lain dari ‘blessing’. One thing for sure, semua hal dapat digunakan
Tuhan untuk kebaikan kita, bagi pemenuhan rencana-Nya yang agung atas kita. Walaupun
saat hujan badai itu datang, kita basah kuyup kedinginan. Saat air mata
mengalir, rasanya kepedihan hati itu takkan tertahankan. Saat Tuhan terasa
begitu jauh, malam rasanya begitu panjang dan lebih gelap dari biasanya. Saat ada
kekosongan dan kehausan dalam hati kita, takkan bisa terpenuhi/terpuaskan dgn
apapun/siapapun kecuali Dia.
Tapi Ayub akhirnya keluar dari keraguannya dan tetap beriman pada Allah.
Allah memulihkan dia & memberkati lebih dari sebelumnya. Horatio Spafford
menuliskan hymne “It Is Well With My Soul” yang memberkati banyak orang hingga
hari ini. Joni Eareckson Tada menjadi teladan dan inspirasi despite of her physical
limitations. Ibu muda itu belajar bekerja apa saja asalkan halal dan berhasil
membesarkan ketiga anaknya jadi org ‘bener’, punya pekerjaan yang baik, serta hidup
cukup lama untuk melihat cucu2nya tumbuh. Teman ayahku tetap setia pada
kenangan istrinya, tidak menikah lagi, dan membesarkan 1 putrinya yang tersisa dengan
baik. Pasangan muda itu belum memperoleh anak lagi. Dan banyak orang2 lain yang
masih dalam pergumulan, masalah, penderitaan, sakit penyakit....
Tetap ada tangan Allah bekerja di balik segala sesuatu. Allah yang
berdaulat. Allah yang penuh kasih. Allah yang bijaksana. Allah yang selalu
tepat waktu dalam bertindak. So maybe, we ought to pray differently :
“Let me see Your hand working in everything, in good/bad, in joy/sorrow,
in happiness/disappointment, in health/sickness. Help me to put my faith in You
alone, no matter what. Help me to know You for Who You truly are, Lord.”
'Cause what if Your
blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest
disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of
this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
~”Blessings” by Laura Story~
Further references (check this out):
v “Blessings” – Laura Story
v “It Is Well With My Soul” – Horatio Spafford
v “Hikmat Seumur Hidup” – Joni Eareckson
Tada, Light Publishing, 2009
(original title : A Life time Wisdom, Zondervan)
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