The Traveler's Journal

It’s one of those days.

Dark gloomy hopeless discouraging day.

Salah satu hari dimana semuanya kelihatan begitu memusingkan dan seperti tak ada jalan untuk mengurai semua kekusutan yang ada.

Salah satu hari dimana keputusasaan melanda dan ketakutan menguasai.

Salah satu hari dimana semua kata2 mutiara tidak berharga lagi dan jiwa terasa begitu kacau hingga tak bisa ditenangkan dengan buku2 self-healing manapun.

Salah satu hari dimana semua tampak gelap, kelam, dingin, mencekam hampir seperti di kuburan.

Salah satu hari dimana I can’t trust your own judgment, dare not to dream your own dream, and doubt yourself even to the atomic level.

Salah satu hari dimana kembali menanyakan pertanyaan paling mendasar di muka bumi, so what on earth am I living for exactly.

Salah satu hari dimana hidup bersama Dia seharusnya dipenuhi sukacita, namun mengapa terasa begitu frustrasi untuk hidup bagi Dia.

Salah satu hari dimana tak ada manusia/satupun elemen alam semesta bisa menghibur/memberi jawab/menunjukkan jalan keluar.

It’s one of those days.

Dark gloomy frustrating devastating day.

Hari yang sedemikian rupa hingga tiba di satu titik.

Titik dimana hanya aku berdiri berhadapan muka dengan–Nya.

Marah, kecewa, sedih, protes, tidak suka, bingung, sakit, putus asa......

Semua diutarakan pada–Nya dalam satu tarikan nafas.

This little human dare to confront The Creator. Or so the human (wrongfully) thought.

Dan akhirnya yang tersisa adalah si manusia terduduk lemas, bersimpuh di tanah, seperti habis kena badai. Dan memang sedang ditimpa badai. Sedang dilanda banjir bandang. Berantakan, acak2an, masih tanpa jawaban dan kejelasan. Merasa tak berdaya dan merasa hampir hampir hampir tenggelam.

Hide me now...under Your wings

Cover me...within Your mighty hands

I don’t want anyone to see me. I don’t want the world to see me. They don’t know how to comfort me. Only You know. Only You know me & therefore You know how.

When the oceans rise & thunders roar

I will soar with You above the storm

Father, You are King over the flood

I will be still & know You are God !

Find rest my soul...in Christ alone

Know His power...in quietness & trust

I feel so weary, so heavy-burdened. Only You can take away my pain, throw away my burden, and give me rest. All I need to do is to trust You, lean on You. Only You have the power to calm the storm within me. Only You know how.

When the oceans rise & thunders roar

I will soar with You above the storm

Father, You are King over the flood

I will be still & know You are God !

The reason for being still, rest, & assured is not because the environment is safe, calm, happy, bright

But because You are God & Lord over all.

Not because of someone who can save/protect me, not because of this world’s guarantee

But because You are King over all.

The Jesus who calmed the sea at Galilee is the same Jesus who can calm the storm within me.

The Jesus who is risen from death centuries ago is the same Jesus who can raise me up from my “death”.

Masalah2ku tidak secara ajaib menghilang seketika.

Pergumulan2ku tidak secara misterius lenyap begitu saja.

Semua tantangan, kesulitan, penderitaan masih tetap ada di tempat mereka masing2.

Dunia tidak serta merta berubah menjadi tempat yang lebih indah dan lebih baik. Orang-orang tidak langsung berubah jadi malaikat.

But those things don’t overcome me anymore. Don’t make me suffer anymore. Don’t make me desperate anymore. I can keep my head above the water. Someday I can even walk on water.

Cause I know & believe & hold on to the fact that Jesus is Lord over all.

I rely on who He is. I confide in His true love & His unchanging character. Not in myself/other people/this vain world.

And that’s all it takes.

The one and only reason for being still, rest, & assured is because You are God!

References :

“Still” by Hillsong

(first draft – unedited)