JUNI 2009 ~ MASA POST CUTI

Cuti yang cuma 2,5 mg (dipotong ATLS 3 hari tinggal 2 mg) cepat sekali menguap..uap..uap. Klo ngikutin maksud hati mah, pastinya pengen stay longer di rumah.

Tapi ada perasaan yang mengganjal di hati, ketika yang dikerjakan tiap hari hanya bangun siang, makan, nonton, jalan2, makan lagi, bobo. Asa teu produktif dan ketika tidak produktif, asa cuma nyesek-nyesekin bumi.

Memang ada bahaya mengintip di balik rasa tersebut. Jangan sampe kita mendasarkan nilai diri kita pada seberapa penting gawean kita, ato seberapa bermaknanya kita ketika disangkutkan dengan hajat hidup orang banyak. Karena sesungguhnya kita itu VERY VALUABLE. Seberapa berharga? Sama harganya dengan darah dan tubuh Tuhan Yesus yang mati buat kita di kayu salib.

Klise? Mungkin ada yang bilang gitu krn keseringan denger. Tapi sebenernya klo mo direnungin lagi, fakta itu ga pernah klise. Kisah tentang “The supreme God mo mati dgn cara yang paling hina demi makhluk dari debu tanah” adalah fakta yang tak pernah bisa jadi klise. Bahkan itulah yang mendasari kehidupan baru kita sekarang sebagai orang percaya. Kita tahu pasti nilai diri kita sebenarnya. Kita tidak perlu lagi mencari-cari kedudukan yang lebih tinggi, kekayaan yang lebih banyak, salon yang lebih ampuh (untuk mempermuda wajah), spa yang lebih manjur (untuk meremajakan kulit), atau outfit yang paling gres dari Milan. All of that can’t define who we really are.

Only Jesus Christ can define the real ‘us’. He knows our value for sure, cause He already paid us with His own life.

Tapi, jangan mentang2 udah dibayar lunas, terus hidup ongkang2 kaki. Karena kita diciptakan untuk suatu tujuan tertentu dan tujuan2 Allah bagi hidup kita itulah yang harus kita kerjakan setelah memperoleh keselamatan.

Waktu balik ke Serukam, g langsung disambut hecticity tiada tara. Hr Senen yang hiruk pikuk, disambung Selasa (I was on-call) yang “can hardly breathe” mulai jam 8 pg-12 mlm (g br plg mandi jm 12 mlm itu!), Rabu yang juga “fish market-like” – tapi ada penghiburan krn makan2 besar (hehehehe…..). The weird thing is I’m really3 exhausted, but...I can’t deny the pleasure that comes from all of that hectic world (& I’m grateful too that God still entrusted us w/so many pxs).

Hanya saja yang terasa berat adalah kenyataan bahwa dalam 1 minggu itu I will lose 4 of my good friends. First is MO, a good senior, very Sanguin, a talented singer (& MC), a skilled surgeonoid (surgeon-wannabe). Pokoke klo ada dia tuh seru! Pasti ada yang aneh, rame, & asyik (sangunin typical lah). Dan dia coffee greatest fans juga, sama kayak K’Don dan SW yang sangat menggemari pure-black coffee (g tidak mengingkari bhw g jadi lebih doyan kopi karena mereka ;D hehe). Second & third are R & R, the young couple. This past year, they have become good friends of mine. RM – the doc – always comes up with new medical news. Dia rajiiiiin bgt baca & has a great curiosity over s’thing (t.u rheumatoid thingy) & cara dia membagikan pengetahuannya pd kami tuh kaga terkesan menggurui. Dia juga baeeeeeek bgt & hampir selalu riang gembira (typical San-Phleg). Sementara istrinya, RH asyik diajak ngobrol. G merasa kami cukup nyambung & bisa ngaler ngidul mulai dari issue serius sampe banyolan2 ga jelas. Rumah mrk tuh kayak escape-hatch when the going gets tough or boring. Juga selalu tersedia snack2 yang ga abis2 (ktnya sih selalu byk yg ngasih hehehe). Last, my housemate, ES. The singer – bahkan waktu kami ngobrol pun, dia bisa menemukan theme song yg tepat untuk obrolan kami hahahaha (mostly Indonesian songs). Berat juga ditinggal pergi dia. Biasanya dia yang jadi temen curhat di rumah. She’s a good listener (& memang selalu dijadiin tempat curhat temen2nya). Terus dia suka punya different point of view yg makin menambah wawasan g ttg sesuatu. ES pulang dulu krn ada urusan keluarga yg very urgent, yg udah ga bs ditunda lg untuk ditangani. Dia sendiri sih maunya balik lg kesini, tp entah deh gmn jadinya. Entah balik lg/entah ga.

Berat ternyata kehilangan 4 orang, setelah sebelumnya kami ditinggal SW & AD. SW tuh salah satu good senior juga. A very talented doctor, medically & non medically. Kutu buku, selera pelemnya agak nyentrik (biasanya g ga suka film2 dia – too depressive hahahaha), suka byk wejangannya, Sailor Moon-type (savior of the day). Kami baru belakangan agak deket, menjelang dia mo pergi. Sementara AD, dia tuh ngocol abis. Cowok yang dandy bgt katanya waktu dateng. Pake kalung emas cling..cling segala. Dia tuh asyik diajak ngobrol. Kami bisa ngobrol macem2 hal yang ringan & menyenangkan sampe ngomongin tingkah polah orang yg suka aneh2. Ga usah susah2 cari2 topik obrolan ;D

And they all gone. Mostly have finished their lives here and continuing their journey out there…. Suka rasa sepi pas lagi nyantei, inget2 jokes mereka. Ato lagi pengen konsul, tp orang2 yg biasa bs ditanya udah ‘gone with the wind’. Ato pas liat lapangan bultang, biasanya AD lagi maen disitu – ga ujan, ga panas, abis jaga pun tetep maen. Ato airplane runway deket gereja – tempat g, K’Don, dan SW sempet lari pagi bareng dalam acara “runwithSW dot com” hehehe….

Begitu banyak kenangan & mostly the good ones ;D

JUNI 2009 ~ MASA PARA TAMU BERDATANGAN

Wow. Ini sudah setahun sejak my first summer in Borneo. Dulu ketika g masih orientasi, disuru ngurusin Eye Team, ketemu para cewek2 nursing students dari Amrik itu, dan mengikuti petualangan tak terlupakan….

Sejauh ini yang ada di Serukam adalah dr. SoA (opthalmologist yg thn lalu dtg tea) with his whole family, Mrs. C & 3 children, Inggrid (fair&tall like her mom), Joshua (he’ll be a handsome guy someday), & Ethan (veryveryvery cute boy! Especially his chubby cheeks). Mereka udah disini sejak Maret ’09. Kemudian ada drg.Tim Clavin & dr.Janice Aldinger (neurologist from Mayo Clinic) & their daughter Emma (she’s a beauty too, big eyes-dark hair-mini Julia Roberts look alike??). Mereka dan keluarga dr.SoA saling kenal karena 1 gereja di Amrik sono. Kemudian (seakan belum cukup haha) pastor mereka juga dateng ke Serukam! Pastor itulah yg menikahkan Tim & Janice dan membaptis Emma. John Zarte dan istrinya Carla (lab technician) sekalian dateng untuk ikut konferensi GPIBI (perkumpulan gereja Baptis).

Tapi belum apa2, the Zartes udah dapet ujian. Entah bagaimana, luggage mereka ketinggalan sehingga mrk dtg cuma dgn tas yg mrk bw di kabin (nah lho). Sampe2 susah cari baju, celana, sepatu karena John paanjaaaang & tinggiiiii. Cukup deg2an juga karena semua bahan John untuk konferensi juga ada di luggage tsb. Syukurlah setelah nyaris seminggu, luggage mereka berhasil bergabung kembali dengan pemiliknya.

Ada 2 tamu lagi, yaitu nursing students thn ke-3 dari Bethel University, tmp Peter & Kristen Geary kuliah, Minnesota. Lagi-lagi orang Minnesota – sampe2 waktu farewell the Clavins, Opa bilang itu hari bersejarah karena lebih banyak orang Minnesota-nya daripada orang Indonnya hehe. Yang tinggi besar (reminding me of Carrie “Tinggi” Spowart)(tp ini bukan cuma tinggi, gempal jg) namanya Rachel Matz, sementara temennya yang tidak tinggi (even shorter than me)(berat jg kyknya jd orang pendek di Amrik) namanya Katrina Anderson (lagi-lagi Anderson – bahkan konon di gerejanya Katrina, ada 4 keluarga bernama belakang Anderson padahal they don’t related at all). Mereka memang temenan lama. Lucunya, mereka suka seragaman pake baju ke RS. Ckckck…formal betul…compare to the last year’s girls – tp ngakunya sih itu ga janjian.

Berbeda dengan thn lalu, I don’t really interact with them. Hanya ketemu dan saling menyapa sekilas2. Dengan dr.Janice, g sering konsul. Tapi dari 4 pxs yg g konsul, 2 murni syaraf, tapi 2 lagi malah suspek psikiatri (maaf dok…). Terus g sempet translate-in wkt dia & hubby-nya kesaksian di kapel. Wah, drg. Tim itu romantic abis! He proclaimed his love for his wife & child (their only child) in front of everyone at chapel ;D And actually he’s warm & funny. Sayang ga sempet mengenal dia lebih jauh. Dia sibuk di per-gigi-an bareng HC dan SK. Oya, ada fenomena yang g perhatiin, bahwa Tuhan kita adl Allah yang senantiasa menyediakan (a providence God). Sebelum Tim & Janice dateng, sempet ada kekhawatiran bakal kurang px gigi & syaraf. Tapi pada hari H-nya, banyak px kok buat mereka, baik yang bener2 dateng dari luar, maupun insider yang check-up. Ga kurang kerjaan kok mereka selama disini ;D Dan fenomena seperti itu juga terjadi saat spesialis2 lain berkunjung ke Serukam. Ga kan kurang pxs. Somehow, kunjungan mereka pasti bermakna.

Yang lebih dimanfaatin lagi dgn maksimal kehadirannya adalah the Zartes. Dari 10 hari kunjungan mereka ke Serukam, setiap hari Carla Zarte “mengurung” diri di lab bareng SA ngurusin lab & tetek bengeknya; sementara John Zarte khotbah 3x di kapel, 3 hari berturut-turut bawain seminar u/ hamba Tuhan, dan 2x khotbah hari Minggu (ditemani the most loyal interpreter, Ms.DP – way the go, Ka Don!). Namun harus diakui bahwa John got a talent of preaching the difficult part of Bible in a simple & practical way. It showed in his 3 chapel’s sermons yang bersambung. Topiknya tentang “Spending the DAY with God”.

I’m gonna share it with u today. Maap bahasanya capcai & hamcoi – Banglish – Bahasa Indon & English. Untuk kali ini, yang edisi 'morning' doang. Next time, yang 'noon' & 'night'.

[[to be continued...]]

Setelah 9 bulan di Serukam sejak cuti Juli-Agust kemaren, akhirnya tiba waktu cuti besar berikutnya. Selama 20 Mei – 7 Juni 2009, akhirnya g bisa ada di Paris van Java lagi. BANDOENK!!! Here I come!!!

Yang spesial buat g adalah preliminary sebelum cutinya.

Beyond my expectation, mi brother (catat : adik KANDUNG, bukan ketemu gede)(habis sulit dapetin orang2 yang sepakat bahwa dia tuh ade g, heran….) came to visit me in Serukam.

Mi brother – kita sebut saja Budz – sudah nyelesein rotasi koass-nya. Tapi masih kudu ujian komprehensif (seluruh bahan) sebelum ikutan magang di RSUD selama 5 bulan. Setelah semua itu beres, baru dia akan “dipecat dgn hormat” dan dilabeli “Pak Dokter”. Nasibnya emang agak terkatung-katung, menantikan ujian kompre yang tak jelas kapannya. Jadi mi nyokap memutuskan untuk mengirim dia “tugas belajar” (euleuh, gaya teuing, sebenerna mah “berlibur sambil belajar” ;D hehe) selama 3 mingguan di Serukam.

Dia nyampe 27 April di Ponti, dijemput sama rombongan orang Serukam yang sekalian maen ke Ponti. Hmm...sebenernya lebih bagus klo dia sendiri yang nulis tentang ini. Pokoke we're having fun dech. Ada dia di Serukam bener2 ngobatin homesick g (well, ga se-homesick itu sih, tapi emang tergolong homesick)(jadi sebenernya homesick/ga sih?? hehehe). Dengan konsekuensi, semua resources g yang biasa bisa buat 3 bulan terkuras habis (wahahahaha......it's exagerrating!). Tapi worthed lah. Resources memang ada buat dipake, kesempatan dia bisa ke Serukam-nya itu yang langka ;D

Kami sempet foto2 banyaaaaaak banget di Serukam (lebih tepatnya sih dia yang foto banyak2) dan sempet maen ke aer terjun Riam Merasap di Sanggau Ledo. Berpetualang bertiga bareng Mbak Vika (yipiii) dan di Sg. Ledo, mampir ke tempat "tour guide" kami, dr. Stephen "Ku5-Ku5" Kuswanto - temen seangkatan g di Unpad 2001. Perjalanan yang nekat, but yet fascinating.

Foto2 kami berdua (dan kadang bertiga) udah di-publish di album FB g "Here, There, and Everywhere".

Klo dipikir-pikir, sebenernya tinggal di Borneo bukan pertama kalinya g tinggal terpisah dari ortu. Yang bener2 pertama kalinya itu waktu g kuliah med school dulu di Jatinangor.

Tolnya aja 35 km, belum termasuk dari rumah ke tol & dari tol ke kampus. G inget respon temen2 g yang dari Jakarta mengenai their first impression ’bout Jatinangor – they didn’t KNOW at all bahwa kampusnya itu bukan di Bandung KOTA tapi PINGGIRAN ;D – so, kagetlah, ga nyangka, setengah terperangkap, setengah kepalang basah...hehe. G sendiri ngerasa kesian juga sama mereka. Biasanya tinggal di kota besar yang hingar bingar, sekarang ”terbuang” ke daerah pinggiran yang (pada pertengahan thn 2001) sepi, panas menyengat, ga da hiburan. Cuma ada warnet, warung tegal, dan tempat FC-an. That’s all. Mobil aja masih jarang. Banyaknya bus luar kota (Cirebon, Garut, dsb) dan truk barang.

Kos-an g yang pertama kali (selama 6 bulan pertama – more & less) engga banget deh. Tetangga g yg duluan kuliah di Jatinangor sih kerasan bgt disitu, tapi g sangat2 ga betah. Lalu g pindah ke Puren (Puri Endah – jgn tertipu dgn kt Puri-nya). Kamarnya ½ kali lebih kecil dari kos-an pertama, tapi sewanya lebih mahal (hmm...aneh kan??). Penghuninya berasal dari berbagai fakultas juga tapi mayoritas anak FK. G dapet kamar di lantei 2, persis ngadep jalan masuk (jadi g bisa tau mobil mana aja yang keluar-masuk kost-an hehe). Tiap 2 kamar kost share 1 kamar mandi. G share sama anak 2000, FK juga tapi KMK (Keluarga Mahasiswa Katolik). Anaknya ngocol abis, seru, pinter, tomboy, kebluk setengah idup ;D Baru dah g ngerasa kerasan nge-kost.

(wakakakakak...syerem amat klo Puren tampangnya kayak gini!!! Engga-lah, g ada foto Puren, cuma ada di Bdg, ga kebawa kesini)

Karena jarak Jatinangor ke Bandung nanggung (dibilang jauh, ya lumayan, dibilang deket ya engga juga), g lumayan sering balik ke rumah bawa cucian. Abis males klo bayar orang buat nyuci (buat apa??). Barang2 g di Puren juga ga terlalu banyak, sampe2 g selalu dihina-hina ”orang camping” sama temen2 yang masuk & ngeliat isi kamar g. G cuma bawa survival kits : panci listrik, tempat aer dengan elemen pemanas, dan radio (yang volume dan frekuensinyanya susyah bgt di-adjust). Laen2nya mah baju, selimut, buku – standarlah. Biasanya sih hari libur dan akhir minggu g ampir selalu ada di Bandung. Pulangnya suka nebeng temen ato naek bus Damri Elang-Jatinangor. G excited bgt wkt bus Damri tsb direnovasi jd laik pakai. Pertama kali edisi post revisinya keluar, g sampe terharu, ternyata bisa ya bus umum tampangnya beradab?? Padahal tau sendiri bus dalem kota Damri segimana ”engga banget”-nya, ya kotornya, ya bangkunya ampir rubuh, ya copetnya, ya pedagang asongannya, ya rokoknya, ya leletnya.... (biasanya klo jam2 padet dari Jtngr ke Bdg bisa kebagian berdiri sampe 1-1,5 jam dalem bus – t.u sepanjang tol Cileunyi – dan baru duduk setelah terminal Leuwipanjang hiks....).

Tapi untuk g scr pribadi, bila dulu tidak ada periode ke Jatinangor, belum tentu ada periode Serukam saat ini. Periode Jatinangor adalah kali pertama I stepped out from my comfort zone. Setelah 12 tahun bersekolah di sekolah swasta Kristen yang homogen (baca : mayoritas Chinese semua), pindah ke universitas negeri (dimana dari 1 teater berskala 290-an orang, 2/3nya bertudung dan tiba2 kami jd ”double minorities” lagi)(lha wong memang udah ”DM” selama hidup di Indon kok) merupakan ”cultural shock” tersendiri buat g. Namun 4 thn di Jatinangor & 2 thn di RSHS adalah masa2 yang selalu g syukuri hingga saat ini. Masa2 pembentukan Tuhan yang ga enak tapi sekaligus indah. I wouldn’t trade that for anything ;D

Sedikit banyak, Serukam mengingatkan g kembali akan masa-masa kawah candradimuka di Jatinangor. Perbedaannya jelas banyak, misalnya : di Serukam ga bisa sering balik karena jauuuuh, ga da cutinya, dan ga da ongkosnya. Di Jatinangor, g tahan ga nonton TV karena ada radio untuk bertahan hidup (well, tetangga untuk ditebengin nonton jg deket jaraknya hehehe). Di Serukam, sinyal radio kaga nyampe, cuma smp Skw doang.

Persamaannya adalah I can get enough privacy, sepiii (iyalah, rumah ”Sidon-Damsyik” di tepi utan lsg)(di Jtngr jd sepi kec. ada pengkhianatan dari tetangga yg masang lagu untuk mecahin membrana timpani seakan kos itu milik moyangnya), harus usaha klo mau makan – jd sangat menghargai makanan (bljr btgjwb atas apa yg dimkn & ga rewel soal mknan), dan banyak lagi....

Tapi yang paling berharga sih masalah privacy. Ketika kita mendapatkan ruang & waktu yang cukup untuk berdiam diri, ber-refleksi, lalu ber-produksi – that’s priceless (maaf para E, ini jelas pemikiran orang I hehehe).

Dan akhirnya setelah melalui 1 tahun di Serukam (terhitung sejak masa orientasi April 2008), I begin to understand what a ”mudik” word means. Bagaimana rasanya ketika jauh dari suatu tempat yang asalnya kerasa biasa bgt, bisa muncul rasa rindu dan ada excitement yg besar waktu bisa datang kembali ke tempat asal. Dulu g ga begitu paham perasaan orang2 yang rela desek2an untuk mudik skala nasional tiap lebaran. G pikir ngapain gitu kudu bersusah payah. But finally I’m getting a grasp of it now ;D ”Gini toh rasanya homesick...” dan ”Gini toh rasanya antusias-mudik!!!”

And suddenly, Bandung looks beautiful in my eyes (haha)

Polang Kampong menolong g untuk melihat rangkaian kebaikan Tuhan selama ini. Mengingat kembali kasih setia Tuhan selama hidup g di Bandung dan terus berlangsung hingga sekarang di Serukam. Belajar menghargai apa yang sudah Tuhan berikan – keluarga, rumah, teman2, sahabat2 baik, gereja, komunitas kelompok kecil....

Make sure that we’re making the most of every times

Because those times surely won’t come back again

It will only come once & for all

Our lives shall have no regret if we’re living it to the most

”Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men” - Col 3:23

”Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” - Ephesians 5:15-17

Fenomena PA-UN (Pasar Unpad) - every Sunday morning di sepanjang jalanan masuk kampus di Unpad Jatinangor. Penuh banget, padet banget, rame banget (baik penjual, pembeli, tukang parkir, dan para pencoleng). Disitu loe bisa dapetin banyak barang dengan harga miring (asal kualitasnya ga ikut miring juga haha)

10 Commandments for Single Adults

[Timothy Fish - 2/14/2006]

((Ada yang g setuju, ada yang rada maksa, tapi overall it provides a good suggestion for singletons. So take the good ones, leave the bad ones behind oce??))

 

1. Thou shall make the Lord #1.

“Thou shall have no other gods before me.” - Exodus 20:3

 Placing the Lord first does not mean that one will be stuck being religious the rest of one’s life, but it does mean that everything a person does will be flavored by a desire to serve the Lord.  Such people find themselves enjoying some things that they would have never considered before and find that they no longer enjoy some of the things that they used to do.

2. Thou shall wait on the Lord’s timing.

“Thou shall not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shall not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.” – Exodus 20:4-6

Many people would never consider making an idol and bowing down to it, but think about why people do make idols.  People who serve idols are looking for something to provide for their needs.  People make idols because they are looking for something to give them what they want.  

This attitude often shows up in ones desire to find a spouse.  A person might look around at all the available people of the opposite sex and find that none of them are suitable or that the situation does not allow a relationship to develop.  The person spend hours in prayer and still be left with the feeling that there is no one available and the Lord isn’t doing anything about it.  Then one begins to compromise on the things that one feels the Lord has set as requirements for what one should look for in a spouse.  One may start looking in places that are filled with people who are living an ungodly lifestyle in hopes of getting what one wants in spite of the will of the Lord.

This should not be the case.  Whatever the Lord’s will is in your life you can be sure it is for your good.  The vast majority of people marry at some point in their life.  Doing things to force something outside of God’s will to happen can keep one from receiving blessings that the Lord would like for one to have.  There have been many times that people have followed the Lord’s will and only then were they able to find the love of their life.

3. Thou shall not date lost people.

“Thou shall not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.” – Exodus 20:7

 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” – II Corinthians 6:14

 When I was a child I was always told that it was wrong to use the Lord’s name as a byword and the reason was because of Exodus 20:7.  While using the Lord’s name as a byword is an example of violating this commandment there are other ways that this commandment could be violated.  We are to give the Lord’s name the respect and honor that it is due.  It is disrespectful to the Lord for a saved person to choose to marry a lost person.  We have made a commitment to the Lord and a marriage to a lost person puts a strain on that commitment.  Either the marriage or the commitment to the Lord will suffer in such a situation.  In most cases it is both.

To avoid getting into such a situation Christian singles should not even date unbelievers.  It might start out as just having fun.  Then the relationship becomes more serious and the believer tells himself that he can change her before they get married. After a while he begins to realize that he doesn’t want to be without her, so he tells himself that it is alright to marry her because she will get saved after they are married. The whole problem would have been avoided if he had been more careful about who he chose to date.

4. Thou shall rest.

“Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shall thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shall not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.”-Exodus 20:8-11

Even a casual reading of the Bible makes it clear that the Lord intended for us to work, but it is also clear that we are not to over do it.  The Lord set aside one day out of every week to allow his people to rest.  Single adults are no strangers to having a lot to do and not enough hands to do it.  If these singles are parents they are even more aware of this problem.  Singles have to do most of the things couples have to do, but they have half as many hands to do those things.  A person who is trying to get all of this work done is going to be tired.

When people become overly tired or stressed, there can be many problems.  The immune system can be weakened when people are under stress, so a person may be more susceptible to disease.  Often a person’s ability to avoid temptation is also weakened.  A person can become so weary that he no longer care that what they are doing is wrong.  People need to be careful not to get into these situations.

Singles find themselves in the situation that because they don’t have to good off they are faced with a mountain of work and no reason not to do it.  The house has to be cleaned, the clothes have to be washed, the bills have to be paid, the yard has to be mowed, shopping must get done and there is plenty that needs to be done at church. All of it has to be done between the time one stumbles in the front door after a long day at work and one is able to fall into bed at the end of the day.

 

5. Thou shall not embarrass your parents

“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” – Exodus 20:12

Dating is one of the things that singles are known for doing.  As a relationship progresses touching and kissing often begins.  Often singles ask the question of how far is too far.  A simple rule is that you should not embarrass your parents.  Singles should never do anything while dating that would be an embarrassment to their parents if they were in the same room with them.  Singles who are in a dating relationship should never do anything when they are alone that would embarrass their parents if they were to walk into the room.

As a single, if you are ever in a situation where you are touching your date in a way that your parents would be embarrassed if they knew it was going on then you have gone too far.  When two singles are together they are always in a public situation and they should treat it as such.

 

6. Thou shall live with your mistakes

“Thou shall not kill.”- Exodus 20:13

((Yang ini agak aneh, tapi intinya sih : harus bertanggung jawab atas kesalahan yang kita lakukan, jgn ditutup-tutupi dgn berbagai cara – sampe membunuh, misalnya?? Ekstrem bgt contonya emang))

There are many reasons that one person might kill another.  One of these reasons is that someone doesn’t want someone else to find out about something that was done. We all make mistakes.  We feel like some mistakes are worse than others, but mistakes do happen.  There are several mistakes that a single adult might make.  Some singles fail to set boundaries early in a relationship and engage in sex.  Some singles do not admit that they have made a mistake until the woman is pregnant. Some men have killed their girlfriends when this has happened.  David killed a Bathsheba’s husband because of what they had done.  It never helps a situation to try to hide what has happened.  We cannot undo our mistakes.  We can void mistakes and deal with those we make, but we should never try to hide them.

 

7. Thou shall not have sex

“Thou shall not commit adultery.” – Exodus 20:14

Singles whether they have never been married, are widowed or are divorced should not be having sex. Period.  Sex was something that God designed for couples and singles need to get it into their heads that engaging in this activity is outside the will of God and they will suffer the consequences.  Having been married previously does not change this.  The fact that all healthy adults have a natural desire for it does not change the fact that God said, no.  When God says, no, we should take it at that and leave it be.

 

8. Thou shall respect other people’s space

“Thou shall not steal.” – Exodus 20:15

Some people have the idea that after some number of dates with another person one has a right to the other person’s time.  Now, obviously, a man wishing to develop a deeper relationship with a woman would not be very successful if he doesn’t spend time with her, but the woman should recognize that until he makes a commitment he can spend his time as he pleases.  It works the other way as well.  There is nothing wrong with expressing a desire to spend time with the other person, but to try to force the other person to dedicate for time to the relationship, through various means, is a type of stealing.

Rather than becoming agree when the other person wants to spend time alone or with other friends, one should respect the other person’s need for time away.  If a one really cares to get to know another person it is best to look for ways to fit comfortably into the other person’s life rather than looking for ways to pull the person into one’s own.  If the other person cares to see the relationship progress then the other person will be the one to look for things to work the other way.

 

9. Thou shall be honest about your ex.

“Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” – Exodus 20:16

This could apply to any single that has been in a relationship of some kind, but it applies especially well to those who are divorced.  People who are divorced are notorious for talking about how rotten their ex-spouse is.  In some cases they are telling the truth, but in most it is just a way to cover one’s own responsibility for the failed marriage or the failure to raise one’s children properly.

Marriages fail because of the actions of two people rather than just one.  Usually, by the time a marriage falls apart it is too late to really know who had the most responsibly for the failure.  People who are divorced find it easier to deal with the situation if they admit that they are partially responsible and do what they can to smooth over the relationship with their ex.  If children are involved this is especially important.  Children love both parents and it makes it hard for them when they are being told that the other person is not a good person.

 

10. Thou shall not date married people.

“Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor’s.”  -Exodus 20:17

The world is a strange place.  There are some people who will spend a great deal of time and effort developing a relationship.  Then one day they are happily married, but over some amount of time (sometimes weeks) they feel like they have fallen out of love.  Some of these people start looking for love from someone else.

Singles should stay away from these people and should avoid situations that might lead to developing an intimate relationship with a married person.  Such a relationship will result in emotional pain for those involved.  If the married couple resolves their differences the single will be hurt.  If the couple divorces the couple will be hurt and most likely the single will be hurt later when the other person grows tired of the new relationship as well.

Being “best friends” with a married person of the opposite sex is a prescription for problems even if there never an intention of pursuing a romantic relationship.  This type of situation can be a cause for jealousy by the spouse.  If too much time is spent together without the spouse it may lead the friends down a path that they never intended to follow.

Be careful not to fall victim to the idea that it could never happen to you.  There have been many people who thought they would never be in that type of situation that have proven they were wrong.  The people it doesn’t happen to are the ones who take the right steps to avoid a bad situation.

 Satu hal lagi yang g dapet dari Quest For Love :

 

“The Lord taught me that preparing for marriage is ‘not so much a matter of FINDING the right person as it is BECOMING the right person.’

I began to concentrate on my relationship with Christ.”

21 April 2009

“Madam Kartini’s Day”

 

Happy birthday to me !

Today is exactly my first year in Serukam.

Remembering again the very first night I stepped in front of “Sidon-Damsyik”, my house now, with astonishment (astonishment = mulut menganga & separuh terbengong) “Ini toh rumahnya Ka TM & ES??”

(karena waktu MMC, g belum pernah mampir ke rumah mereka)

Hahaha…”the naïve -me” yang akhirnya menginjakkan kaki di realitas.

Welcome to the jungle, myself.

Sebenernya waktu mulai orientasi di Serukam, udah ga terlalu kaget karena (syukurlah) sudah pernah dateng waktu MMC 3. Tapi tidak bisa dipungkiri bahwa datang sebagai tamu dan datang sebagai “calon” anggota keluarga ternyata memberikan implikasi yang jauh berbeda. Tantangannya berbeda, sudut pandangnya berbeda, pengetahuannya berbeda, namun berkatnya juga berbeda ;D

 

G merasa bersyukur ditempatkan di (salah satu) rumah terjauh & terparah WC-nya (pre renovasi) bersama para alumni MMC. Mulanya agak ragu juga apakah bisa fit in dengan TM dan ES karena mereka sudah terlebih dahulu bersama-sama selama MMc-2 dan selama 8 bulan sebelum kedatangan g (dan ternyata mereka juga berpikir hal yang sama – bisa fit in sama g ga? Hehehe). Tetapi masa adaptasinya berjalan cukup baik & alhasil kami menjadi trio Sidon-Damsyik (walau eksistensinya sekarang sudah berakhir - secara de jure).

 

Banyak sekali hal yang g pelajari selama 1 tahun di Serukam. Dari sekian banyak, ada 2 hal yang secara khusus g dapatkan on this birthday : 

(1) NO PAIN, NO GAIN

 

Merasa babak belur dengan jaga hari Sabtu (ga tidur dari jam 00.30 Minggu subuh sampe jam 7 pagi), disambung Monday-hell, diikuti Tuesday-sequelae.

Setiap hari harus bangun, cepet2 beberes, supaya bisa visite pagi sebelum morning report, ketemu pxs dengan segala permasalahannya (yang seringkali pelik). Habis morning report, cepet2 melirik outpatient box, periksa dulu, cek lab, balik lagi ke ruangan untuk selesein pxs yang belum divisite. Itupun ga boleh lama2 karena tumpukan di outpatient box semakin menggunung dan kalau tidak segera ditangani, akan bermunculan wajah2 yang resah & rewel. Dan demikianlah setiap hari.

 

Padahal semua itu adalah hal-hal yang membuat g bertumbuh.

 

Mengingat kembali pasien2 yang sulit, njelimet, ngebingungin, kaga keluar2 RS, keluarganya nyebelin, apatis, ngebabuin. Belum lagi guilty feeling klo ada yang missed atau terlambat diketahui. Ato perasaan jengkel, gemes, dan hanjakal karena mereka terlambat datang ke RS (setelah shopping dukun/berobat alternatif) padahal seharusnya bisa diselamatkan (if only they came earlier).

 

Dan semua hal itu adalah hal-hal yang membuat g bertumbuh.

 

Ditengah-tengah keletihan tubuh & pikiran, semua ingatan tsb membuat g bersyukur karena menyadari bahwa melalui bertahan hidup selama merawat merekalah, g bertumbuh.

Actually, klo dipikir-pikir lebih ndalem, I’m the one who should be thankful to them – for in treating them, I get the chance to grow up.

They were the one who taught me a great deal of things.

GOD taught me a lot through them. Not just medically, but mentally and spiritually.  

 

The old verse is true : No Pain, No Gain.

Mengutip kata2 Rick Warren dalam Purpose Driven Life :

”…God’s ultimate goal for your life on earth is NOT comfort, but CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. He wants you to grow up spiritually and become like Christ.

Becoming like Christ does not mean losing your personality or become a mindless clone. God created your uniqueness, so he certainly doesn’t want to destroy it. Christlikeness is all about transforming your character, not your personality…

…Everytime you forget that character is one of God’s purposes for your life, you will become frustrated by your circumstances. You’ll wonder, ‘Why is this happening to me? Why am I having such a difficult time?’

One answer is that life is supposed to be difficult! It’s what enables us to grow….”

 

Tidak berarti bahwa g menganut teologi kesengsaraan (lawannya teologi sukses).

Tapi betul bahwa hidup itu harus diperjuangkan. Dan harus diperjuangkan untuk alasan yang benar. Rasul Paulus bilang bahwa apa yang dahulu dia anggap sebagai keuntungan (gain) – status, pendidikan, kehormatan, garis keturunan - sekarang dia anggap sampah setelah berjumpa secara pribadi dengan Yesus Kristus. Jadi waktu memaknai ‘no pain, no gain’, harus didefinisikan juga dengan jelas – GAIN yang mana toh??

Orang2 yang belum mengenal Kristus kurang rajin bagaimana coba. Kerja keras banting tulang, 30 jam seminggu, demi ‘gain’ as much as they can. Money, carreer, fame, beautiful women/charming men, house, car, etc, etc.

 

Tuhan ingin membuat kita menjadi seperti Anak-Nya Yesus Kristus. I believe that HE is our gain. Dialah yang menjadi bagian kita, dan menjadi serupa dengan Kristus adalah ’gain’ yang terbesar yang bisa dihasilkan dari semua ’pain’ kita di dunia.

Even more, ”God is far more interested in WHAT YOU ARE than in what you do.”

Tuhan lebih concern dengan karakter kita, daripada hal2 yang kita (bilang kita) lakukan untuk Dia.

 

Life is not about us. You and I exist for God’s purpose, not vice versa.

(Rm 8 : 28-29)

 

There is no growth without change,

no change without fear or loss,

and no loss without pain.

 (2) THE GIFT OF SINGLENESS

 

Percakapan dengan seorang teman beberapa waktu lalu memunculkan suatu pemikiran mengenai status single (atau double)(kayak ukuran kasur aja). Dia diperhadapkan dengan suatu dilema antara pergi atau tinggal. Pergi untuk melayani di daerah terpecil (dgn konsekuensi SLJJ dgn cowoknya) atau tetap tinggal & melayani di daerah setempat (& bisa membangun hubungan jarak dekat / SLJD). Waktu itu g berusaha memahami perbedaan pengambilan keputusan yang melibatkan kepentingan 2 orang (karena udah jadian) dan bukan hanya kepentingan sendiri (seperti waktu masih single).

 

Baru-baru ini, g baru aja menyelesaikan salah satu buku Elisabeth Elliot (the wife of late Jim Elliot – Auca’s missionary martyr). Judulnya The Quest For Love. Buku ini disebut-sebut sebagai lanjutan dari karya Mrs. Elliot yang terkenal, Passion & Purity. Isinya berupa kisah2 perjalanan cinta dari berbagai orang, mostly Caucasians, tapi ada juga Asians. Di akhir setiap bab diberikan point2 analisis serta ulasannya secara alkitabiah. Banyak prinsip2 penting yang disampaikan Mrs. Elliot disitu. Salah satu bahasannya adalah The Gift of Singleness. Berikut kutipannya :

 

“If you are single today, the portion assigned to you for today is SINGLENESS.

It is God’s GIFT.

Singleness ought not to be viewed as a problem, nor marriage as a right.

God in His wisdom and love grants either as a gift.

Don’t confuse that with the gift of celibacy – one who is bound by vows not to marry.

If you are not so bound, what may be your portion tomorrow is not your business today.

Today’s business is TRUST in the living God, who precisely measure out, day by day, each one’s portion… receiving ONE DAY AT A TIME (Psalms 16:5)

He divinely apportioned gift of singleness, believing that God won’t withhold nothing that is good for us”

 

I am really grateful karena menyadari bahwa singleness saat ini adalah berkat dari Tuhan. Singleness yang dimaksud bukan selibat, tapi single dalam artian not married yet. Dalam kasus g (g tidak melakukan generalisata ya), g merasa bahwa melalui singleness ini Tuhan memberikan kesempatan untuk melayani dengan bebas. Sejak di gereja dulu waktu melayani di Remaja, lalu bisa sampe ke Borneo segala. Beyond my wildest imagination. G juga bersyukur bisa belajar dari temen2 yang udah jadian ato udah merit, dengan segala ups & downs mereka.

Dahulu kala pun bapak Pengkhotbah dengan bijak berkata bahwa ‘Untuk segala sesuatu ada masanya, untuk apapun di bawah langit ada waktunya’.

Rencana kita jauuuh klo dibandingin sama rencana Tuhan yang tidak terselami. Tapi yang pasti adalah Tuhan membuat segala sesuatu indah pada waktu-NYA. Dan klo sampe saat ini masih bisa makan, minum, bekerja, bersenang-senang dalam jerih payah, itupun pemberian Tuhan.  

 

Yang suka susah adalah berhenti ngotot dengan proposal kita dan menantikan proposal Tuhan. Beriman bahwa rencana Tuhan dalam kehidupan kita itu pasti baik, tepat sasaran, dan tepat waktu butuh pergumulan setiap hari. Ini bukan melulu masalah single/double yah, tapi mengenai kehidupan secara umum. Fase menikah itu bukan segala-galanya dalam kehidupan, itu hanya salah satu aspek kehidupan. Jadi masih ada banyak aspek lain dalam hidup yang perlu dipikirkan & didoakan juga dengan serius.

 

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